From Nassau/Suffolk. Craiglist Ad #1522394329:

Very cool down to earth married guy looking for a married girl for friendship and passion. Not looking to hurt anyone on either side so discretion is a must. I am attractive, fit, healthy and clean. Please be as well.

Dear Very Cool Married Guy,
So, I’m single and not at all what you’re looking for, but I was wondering something:

WHAT PART OF MARRIED DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?!

xoxo,

Very Cool Single Girl

PS. Come across any weird Craigslist personals ads lately? Tell me all about it.