About a week ago, this guy who I’d been hooking up with for about four months and I both finally realized we were getting attached. My crazy single life was at the risk of ending, but as it turns out we wanted to deal with the situation differently: characteristically I wanted us to be exclusive and he wanted us to actively see other people. Nothing good ever comes out of two people wanting different things, so we ended it.

As a result I’ve been back OTP (on the prowl). Here’s the new problem: guys can smell desperation. No matter how much I tell myself I’m fine, the truth is I’m itching to find a new interest to put the last one out of my mind and end up getting tied into a vicious cycle: I flirt with someone, I sense he’s not interested, I get self-conscious, I try harder or I move on to someone else, and so on until I’ve sufficiently made a fool out of myself in front of several people (either by trying to hard or trying to hard to hide it).

Girls have to do it passively. The way to be attractive is to be comfortable in your own skin and wait for the right guy to make a move on you. You can’t just walk over to someone you like, you have to catch his eye or something and wait for him to come to you. It’s frustrating and I welcome any ideas on how a girl can get more agency.