My first date with Buck was this past Sunday. This first date wasn’t just any date. It was my first date in a long time ever. Getting ready for this (physically, emotionally, and spiritually) naturally, wasn’t the easiest thing to do. Somehow, I managed to actually leave my apartment for the date. As it was our first date, nothing spectacular was planned — just lunch and a trip to a record store he wanted to show me that was known for it’s grunge selection. If you can remember, grunge is really what started it all for us. When I saw him for the first time since last week, I really had to do a double take.

Maybe I was wearing special gym goggles that block the sight of every attractive man in the gym, but Buck was way more attractive outside of the gym. (I know, it’s odd.) Despite our grunge outing, Buck was definitely dressed the opposite of grunge. Well-groomed, ironed button up shirt, jeans and clean sneakers.

I only say that this date was maybe our last, because we seemed to not have the same chemistry we shared earlier at the gym. Conversation was a bit choppy — I’m not sure I learned all that much from him and I don’t think he learned that much from me since he didn’t ask many questions about myself. When we split ways, we did just that. No hug no, “I’ll call you later,” just goodbye and “I had fun.”

Sadly, I’m still attracted to Buck. This is kind of bad, but it seems like Buck’s my only option around here. Since Buck is the only male contact I’ve gotten in a long time, I’m really attracted to him. It’s some sort of sad natural instinct. Even if the date didn’t go well in my opinion, I’d still say yes if he asked me out again — if he does ask me out again.

I’ll be surprised if he does. We’ll see.