How I Met Your Mother: Barney Stinson’s Playbook

CBS’ How I Met Your Mother is hands down, one of my favorite TV shows, ever. The majority of the show has a lot to do with dating and the (crazy) single life. When it comes to living a crazy single life, one needn’t look far for an example. How I Met Your Mother’s Barney Stinson is crazy single life. A lot of his dating moves from his “Playbook” are pretty darn outrageous. Here’s just a few from this past season:

Don’t Drink That
Before a woman at a bar takes a sip from her drink, Barney will rush to her telling her, “Don’t drink that,” claiming that someone slipped her a roofie while she wasn’t looking. Barney then points out the culprit, and the woman will claim Barney her hero.

The Lorenzo Von Matterhorn
“The Lorenzo Von Matterhorn” requires basic knowledge of website design, a very unique fake name and a target, preferably a girl with a really nice…phone. Barney introduces himself to his target as the famous Lorenzo Von Matterhorn, leaving the girl intrigued and curious enough to do an Internet search on her phone where she discovers a series of fake websites devoted to Lorenzo Von Matterhorn including a fake business article about him being a billionaire, a fake explorers news club describing his trip to the north pole, and a fake medical journal featuring a heartbreaking story in which doctors tell him that penis reduction surgery is not an option. Barney then asks the girl out for coffee and she immediately says yes.

He’s Not Coming
Barney watches for estranged lovers at the observation deck of the Empire State building and drops the line “he’s not coming” so he’ll be the first one to comfort them.

And the most absurd:

My Penis Grants Wishes
Barney tells a magical story about a genie that comes out of his penis only of the girl rubs it hard.