So not all of us have tried online dating before but just in case you ever do, you’d better watch out for the ones that are severely screwed up. Here are some examples of how a single’s profile keeps them single for even longer:

1. “I’m looking for fun!”

This makes it clear that he is not looking for a serious relationship. I mean, we’re not expecting, “I’m looking for my future wife and if you’re not her then piss off!” All we want to know is if he’s looking for a partner or a fling. If you’re looking for commitment, this guy is not the one for you.

2. “My life is under construction. Bring your hard hat.”

This one’s redeeming quality is that he is honest. He’s promising you a tough time when dealing with him. If you’re looking for an easy-going relationship, then you’d probably avoid this one. Goodbye.

3. “I hate most people.”

How lovely. At least it was a fair warning. If you pursue a relationship with this guy and it turns ugly, he can say, “I told you so.” Save yourself the trouble from this misanthrope unless you share his common interest.

4. “I spend my spare time obsessing about my hairline.”

Ah, more lovely people. If a man obsesses with his hairline of all things, who knows what other things he’ll cower to. Avoid these fellows.

5. “Don’t message me if you haven’t read [insert snooty literary cannon here].”

At least we know he’s literate. He probably has little to none redeeming qualities though. It’s hard to be interested in a man who refuses to speak to you if you haven’t read a book favored by him. He’s just pretentious by now. Moving on…

6. “I am looking for someone to make me forget about my ex girlfriend.”

Cue the eye-twitch. No lady deserves to suffer with a man who still thinks constantly about his ex. Next!

7. “I’m working on my fourth MA.”

That’s nice but dear sir, you frighten me so. Either you love education or you fear working. I assume it’s the latter. Maybe if you got off your lazy bum and got a job, a lady might be interested.

8. “I’m not into romance.”

Am I on the wrong website? Or are you just cynical? You sound absolutely divine. I’ll definitely message you.

Some of these uttered a laugh out of me. This was fun.

Have you ever dated online? If so, have you ever run into one of these charming people?

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